Today's stories [2.16.07]

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[UPI,Portland, OR] Doctors at Portland's
   University Hospital said Wednesday an Oregon man
   shot through the skull by a hunting arrow is lucky
   to be alive, and will be released soon from the
   hospital. Tony Roberts, 25, lost his right eye
   last weekend during an initiation into a men's
   rafting club, Mountain Men Anonymous, in Grants
   Pass,Ore. A friend tried to shoot a beer can off
   his head, but the arrow entered Roberts' right
   eye. Doctors said had the arrow gone 1 millimeter
   to the left, a major blood vessel would have cut
   and Roberts would have died instantly.
   Neurosurgeon Dr. Johnny Delashaw at the University
   Hospital in Portland said the arrow went through 8
   to 10 inches of brain, with the tip protruding at
   the rear of his skull, yet somehow managed to miss
   all major blood vessels. Delashaw also said had
   Robert tried to pull the arrow out on his own he
   surely would have killed himself. Roberts admitted
   afterwards he and his friends had been drinking
   that afternoon. Said Roberts, "I feel so
   dumb about this." (I would feel 'dumb' too if that
   much of my brain had been skewered - KEB)
   No charges have been filed but the Josephine County
   district attorney's office said the initiation stunt
   is under investigation.

WHAT MOST PEOPLE ARE THINKING WHEN THEY SAY "I LOVE YOU"

"The person is thinking: Yeah, I really do love him. But I
hope he showers at least once a day."  (Michelle, 9)

A lawyer defending a man accused of burglary tried this
creative defense: "My client merely inserted his arm into
the window and removed a few trifling articles. His arm
is not himself, and I fail to see how you can punish the
whole individual for an offense committed by his limb."
"Well put," the judge replied. "Using your logic, I
sentence the defendant's arm to one year's imprisonment.
He can accompany it or not, as he chooses." The defendant
smiled. With his lawyer's assistance he detached his
artificial limb, laid it on the bench, and walked out. 

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