Today's stories [2.11.07]

Vote for the story that you really like by checking a box next to it. Then press the VOTE button to submit your votes. Also, links to story categories and "Send to Friend" will open in a new window, so as not to interrupt your story reading.

Well, a couple months back there was this trial in the West Virginia 
courts. A man was being tried for fornicating with a sheep. Anyway,
the key witness was an old fella who was walking along the highway by the 
farm where the sheep was raised. 
The prosecutor asked the witness what he saw. "Well, I was walkin'
along, and saw this sheep just'a eatin' grass. And then this fella walks up
from behind the sheep, real quiet-like." 
"And then what?" asked the prosecutor. 
"Then he unbuckled his belt, and pulled the sheep close." 
" And what happened after that?" 
"Well," said the witness, "they sorta shook for a couple of minutes. 
THEN, afterwards, the sheep turned around... an' licked him!" 
Just then one of the members of the jury leaned over to the jury
member next to him and said, "You know... a good sheep'll do that."

Microsoft Corp announced that they would purchase the
source the PenPoint operating system for the value of
one of Bill Gates eye-lashes (est. value $1.3 million).
Gates was quoted as saying "we are only doing what the
consumer has asked us to do: ship huge, bloated,
bug-ridden programs while using every trick in the book
to kill our competitors. As an example of our progress,
consider Windows CE which paints the screen slower on a
75 MHz MIPS RISC processor than the 16 MHz 68000 in the
Palm Pilot, while sucking the batteries dry in a tenth
the time." 

MAKES YOU WONDER HOW THESE PEOPLE CAN SURVIVE !!!
A lady at work was seen putting a credit card into her
floppy drive and pulling it out very quickly. When
inquired as to what she was doing, she said she was
shopping on the Internet and they kept asking for a
credit card! number, so she was using the ATM
"thingy".

By voting you are helping select today's best story. This helps us provide you with better quality humor in the future, as well as to select the best stories to send in our daily best humor mailing.

But wait! Don't forget to read Today's Jokes Today's Poems Today's Quotes Today's Funny Pic   February '07 Stories Issues: S M T W Th F St 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26 27 28