Today's quotes [2.24.07]

Vote for the quote that you really like by checking a box next to it. Then press the VOTE button to submit your votes. Also, links to quote categories and "Send to Friend" will open in a new window, so as not to interrupt your quote reading.

Success is a relative term. It brings so many relatives.

When we are planning for posterity, we ought to
remember that virtue is not hereditary. 

     - Thomas Paine 

"I'd rather drink a pint of someone else's diarrhoea then listen to this
 stuff."
                        -- Daniel, referring to me and Martyn singing in the
                           lab (he's now joined the choir =))

When I heated my home with oil, I used an average of 800 gallons
a year. I have found that I can keep comfortably warm for an
entire winter with slightly over half that quantity of beer. 

     - Postpetroleum Guzzler, Dave Barry 

I told my girlfriend last night how much I loved her,
and she said that I must have been out drinking again.
I asked her why she would say that, and she said,
"Because I'm your father." 

    - Dave George 

By voting you are helping select today's best quote. This helps us provide you with better quality humor in the future, as well as to select the best quotes to send in our daily best humor mailing.

But wait! Don't forget to read Today's Jokes Today's Stories Today's Poems Today's Funny Pic   February '07 Quotes Issues: S M T W Th F St 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26 27 28