Today's poems [2.3.07]

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There was an old spinster of Tyre
Who bellowed, "MY CUNT IS ON FIRE!"
So a fireman was found,
Brought his engine around
And extinguished her burning desire

Hey!! This isn't a joke but it's a poem:

Kissing is a habit,
Fucking is a game.
Boys get all the pleasure,
Girls get all the pain.

He says that he loves you,
And you believe it's true,
But when your stomach starts to swell,
He says to hell with you.

15 minutes of pleasure,
9 months of pain,
3 days in the hospital,
A baby with no name.

The baby is a bastard,
The mother is a whore.
It never would have happened,
If the rubber hadn't tore.

Thanks

Sent by Zoe_112

                              Modern Love Poem
     
   
      A Trite Redundant Poem With a Laughable Excuse For a Structure
  Addressed To Absolutely No One in Particular and Whose Only Redeeming
                          Value is That It's Short
                         a.k.a. A Modern Love Poem

My dearest darling with long dark hair and eyes azure,
My love for you is eternal, tried, and sure.
I stare into the infinite depths of your eyes,
But I often find my gaze directed at your thighs.

Everyone appreciates your unsurpassed beauty and grace,
Your perfect supple form and enchanting face.
Some say beauty is fleeting, and boy do I agree.
Your personality sucks, so when you're 40, with you I will not be.

My sweet, how do I love thee?  Let me count the ways...
One...uh...one...hmm...number one...gimme a chance... how about the
way your body sways?

Let me once more restate my love for you.
65% of the time, to you I'm true.
There is no other woman with whom I lay,
At least, not at this particular time of day.

My dear, you're absolutely the best.
How 'bout accompanying me to the next Centralfest?
(That is, unless I don't have another date)
The events that brought us together must have been fate.

I love you, I love you, I love you.
You're the greatest, Jenny, I mean Cherry, I mean Sue.
  

A mouse in her room woke Miss Doud
Who was frightened and screamed very loud
Then a happy thought hit her
To scare off the critter
She sat up in bed and just meowed

There once was a man from Nepal 
Whose turds were exceedingly small. 
He'd sit in his room 
And shit on a spoon 
And then flick his turds down the hall. 

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