Today's poems [2.19.07]

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There was a young fellow in Buckingham. 
            Wrote a treatise on cunts and on sucking them, 
                But later this work 
                Was eclipsed by a Turk 
            Whose topic was ass-holes and fucking them. 

A near-sighted chap named Coulter
Led a glamorous gal to the altar.
Quite lovely he thought her
Till some strong soap and hot water
Made her look like the rock of Gibraltar.

Since the girl couldn't type, she was fired;
And asked to explain why she was hired.
"The executive's dong
Is only four inches long.
I thought shorthand was all he required" 

There was a young man named Zerubbabel 
               Who had only one real, and one rubber ball. 
                    When they asked if his pleasure 
                    Was only half measure, 
               He replied, "That is highly improbable." 

There was a young lady from Eaton
Whose figure had plenty of meat on.
She said: 'Wed me, Jack,
And you'll find that my back
Is a nice place to warm your cold feet on'.

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