Today's jokes [2.4.07]

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Why did the cactus cross the road?
It was stuck to the dumb chicken


Sent by Robbie

What do you call a Japanese drummer boy whose father has diarrhea?

A slap happy Jappy, with a crap happy pappy.

The math teacher saw that little Johnny wasn't paying attention in class.
She called on him and said, "Johnny! what are 4, 2, 28 and 44?"

Little Johnny quickly replied, "NBC, CBS, HBO and the Cartoon Network!"

A young, ruthless executive died and went to hell. When he got there,
he saw one sign that said Capitalist Hell, and another that said
Socialist Hell. In front of the Socialist Hell was an incredibly long
line, while there was no-one in front of the Capitalist Hell. So the
executive asked the guard, "What do they do to you in Socialist Hell?"
"They boil you in oil, whip you, and then put you on the rack," the
guard replied.
"And what do they do to you in Capitalist Hell?"
"The same exact thing," the guard answered.
"Then why is everybody in line for Socialist Hell?"
"Because in Socialist Hell, they're always out of oil, whips, and racks!" 

A man brings his wife a glass of water and two aspirins. She
looks surprised and says, I don't have a headache!"
    
He says, "Aha!"

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