Today's jokes [2.28.07]

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Why you should learn to use algebra . . . 



After applying some simple algebra to some trite phrases and cliches a new understanding can be
reached of the secret to wealth and success.
Here it goes.

     Knowledge is Power
     Time is Money and as every engineer knows,
     Power is Work over Time.

So, substituting algebraic equations for these time worn bits of wisdom, we get:

     K = P (1)
     T = M (2)
     P = W/T (3)

Now, do a few simple substitutions:

     Put W/T in for P in equation (1), which yields:
     K = W/T (4)

Put M in for T into equation (4), which yields:

     K = W/M (5).

Now we've got something. Expanding back into English, we get:

     Knowledge equals Work over Money.

What this MEANS is that:

     1. The More You Know, the More Work You Do, and
     2. The More You Know, the Less Money You Make.

Solving for Money, we get:

     M = W/K (6)
     Money equals Work Over Knowledge.

From equation (6) we see that Money approaches infinity as Knowledge approaches 0, regardless
of the Work done.

What THIS MEANS is:

     The More you Make, the Less you Know.

Solving for Work, we get

     W = M K (7)
     Work equals Money times Knowledge

From equation (7) we see that Work approaches 0 as Knowledge approaches 0.

What THIS MEANS is:

     The stupid rich do little or no work.

Working out the socioeconomic implications of this breakthrough is left as an exercise for the
reader.

What is the difference between Prince Charles and OJ Simpson?

A: Prince Charles' (ex)wife was killed by a white man in a black car.

A girl called the police department and reported that she had been 
assaulted. The officer who answered the phone, asked, "When did this 
happen?" She replied, "Last week." The police then asked, "Why did you 
wait until now to report it?" Well," she said. "I didn't know that I was 
assaulted until the check bounced." 

While away at a convention, an executive happened to meet a young woman 
who was pretty and intelligent. When he persuaded her to disrobe in his 
hotel room, he found out she had a superb body as well. Unfortunately, 
the executive found himself unable to perform.

On his first night home, the executive walked from the shower into the
bedroom to find his wife covered in a rumpled bathrobe, her hair 
curled, her face creamed, munching candy loudly while she pored through 
a movie magazine.

Then, without warning, he felt the onset of a magnificent erection. 
Looking down at this, he snarled, "Why you ungrateful, mixed-up son of 
a bitch. Now I know why they call you a prick!"

Little Boy: What will communism be like when perfected?

His Father: Everyone will have what he needs.

LB: But what if there is a shortage of meat?

HF: There will be a sign in the butcher shop saying,
"No one needs meat today."

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