Today's jokes [2.2.07]

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A lady goes to her parish priest one day and tells him, "Father,
I have a problem. I have two female parrots but they only know
how to say one thing." "What do they say?" the priest inquired. 
"They say, 'Hi, we're prostitutes. Do you want to have some
fun?" "That's obscene!" the priest exclaimed, "I can see why you
are embarrassed." He thought a minute and then said, "You know,
I may have a solution to this problem. I have two male parrots
whom I have taught to pray and read the Bible.

Bring your two parrots over to my house and we will put them in
the cage with Francis and Job. My parrots can teach your parrots
to praise and worship. I'm sure your parrots will stop saying
that...that phrase in no time." "Thank you," the woman
responded, "this may very well be the solution." 

The next day, she brought her female parrots to the priest's
house. As he ushered her in, she saw this two male parrots were
inside their cage, hold their rosary beads and praying. 
Impressed, she walked over and placed her parrots in with them. 
After just a couple of seconds, the female parrots exclaimed out
in unison, "Hi, we're prostitutes. Do you want to have some
fun?"

There was a stunned silence. Finally, one male parrot looked
over at the other male parrot and said, "Put the beads away,
Francis, our prayers have been answered!"

How did the blond break her leg while raking leaves?


She fell out of the tree



sent by Chris

What language do the Vatican Police speak?

Pig Latin!

What's the difference between a ritz
                             cracker and a lesbian?
One's a snack cracker, the other a crack snacker!

   A yuppie opened the door of his BMW, when suddenly a car came along
   and hit the door, ripping it off completely. When the police arrived
   at the scene, the yuppie was complaining bitterly about the damage
   to his precious BMW.
   "Officer, look what they've done to my Beeeeemer!!!", he whined.
   "You yuppies are so materialistic, you make me sick!!!", retorted
   the officer. "You're so worried about your stupid BMW, that you
   didn't even notice that your left arm was ripped off!!!"
   "Oh my gaaawd...," replied the yuppie, finally noticing the bloody
   left shoulder where his arm once was, "Where's my Rolex?!!!!!"
   

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