Today's jokes [2.10.07]

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 Nuns at a church wanted to watch TV. The first one said she wanted to
watch the INDY 500. The second one wanted to watch the sexy Shawn Michels
on WWF. The third nun said she wanted to watch the knitting channel so she
can knit some mittens for the kitchen. The fourth nun said she wanted to
watch the discovery channel on how a baby is born. After some dicussion,
they all decided to flip channels every 2 seconds so they can watch the
same things.
This is what is sounded like:
And they're off! They're on top of each other! In...Out...In...Out...and
yes, the baby is born!

An 80-year-old couple were having problems remembering things, so they
decided to go to their doctor to get checked out to make sure nothing was
wrong with them.

    When they arrived at the doctor's, they explained to the doctor about
the problems they were having with their memory.  After checking the couple
out, the doctor told them that they were physically okay but might want to
start writing things down and make notes to help them remember things. The
couple thanked the doctor and left.

    Later that night while watching TV, the old man got up from his chair
and his wife asked, "Where are you going?"

    He replied, "To the kitchen."

    She asked, "Will you get me a bowl of ice cream?"

    He replied, "Sure."

    She then asked him, "Don't you think you should write it down so you can
remember it?"

    He said, "No, I can remember that."

    She then said, "Well, I also would like some strawberries on top. You
had better write that down 'cause I know you'll forget that."

    He said, "I can remember that! You want a bowl of ice cream with
strawberries."

    She replied, "Well, I'd also like whipped cream on top. I know you'll
forget that so you'd better write it down."

    With irritation in his voice, he said, "I don't need to write that down!
I can remember that." He then went fuming into the kitchen.

    After about 20 minutes he returned from the kitchen and handed her a
plate of bacon and eggs.

    She stared at the plate for a moment and said, "You forgot my toast."

After the fall in Garden of Eden, Adam was walking with his sons Cain and
Abel. They passed by the ruins of the Garden of Eden. One of the boys
asked, "What's that?" Adam replied, "Boys, that's where your mother ate
us out of house and home." 

After the party, as the couple was driving home, the woman asks her
husband,
"Honey, has anyone ever told you how handsome, sexy and irresistible to
women you are?"
The flattered husband said, "No, dear they haven't."
The wife yells, "Then what the heck gave you THAT idea at the party
tonight?"

A nosey neighbour remonstrated with the woman in the adjoining apartment.
"Mrs Smith, do you think it is right that a seventeen year old boy spends
three hours every night in your apartment?"
Mrs Smith replied. "Its a platonic friendship. Its play for him and a
tonic for me." 

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