Today's stories [11.8.07]

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A man comes into the ER and yells "My wife's going to have her baby in 
the cab!" I grabbed my stuff, rushed out to the cab, lifted the lady's 
dress, and began to take off her underwear. Suddenly I noticed that there 
are several cabs, and I was in the wrong one.

At the beginning of my shift I placed a stethoscope on an elderly and 
slightly deaf female patient's anterior chest wall. "Big breaths," I 
instructed. "Yes, they used to be," remorsed the patient.

If you had bought $1000 worth of Nortel stock one year ago, it would now 
be worth $49. If you had bought $1000 worth of Budweiser (the beer, not 
the stock) one year ago, drank all the beer, and traded in the cans at a 
redemption center for the nickel deposit, you would have $107.

Given the current conditions of the economy, my advice is to drink 
heavily and recycle.

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