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Today's poems [11.8.07]

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I'm sure you can imagine 
As plain as can be 
The place is Piccadilly 
The players He and She.

She whispered "will it hurt me?" 
"Of course not" answered he 
"It's a very simple process, 
You can rely on me." 

She said "I'm very frightened, 
I've not had this before. 
My friend has had it five times 
And said it can be sore". 

Then finally contended 
Lay back and relax a bit 
Quickly and readily he bent over her 
And then he started it. 

It was growing rather painful 
Tears formed in her eyes 
It was hurting quite a bit now 
It must have been quite a size. 

"Calm yourself" he whispered 
His face was filled with a grin 
"Try and open a bit wider 
So I can get it in". 

"It's coming now" he whispered 
"I know" she cried in bliss 
Feeling it deep within her now 
She said "I am glad I am having this". 

And with a final effort 
She gave a frightened shout 
He gripped it in anguish 
And quickly pulled it out. 

She lay back quite contended 
Sighed and gave a smile 
She said "I'm glad I came now 
You made it worth my while". 

Now if you read this carefully 
The dentist you will find 
Is not what you imagined 
It's just your dirty mind! 

1. 




There was a young lady of Dover
Whose passion was such that it drove her
        To cry, when you came,
        "Oh dear!  What a shame!
Well, now we shall have to start over."

2. 




Everything is gone;

Your life's work has been destroyed.

Squeeze trigger (yes/no)?

3. 




A pious young lady named Finnegan 
               Would caution her beau, "Now you're in again, 
                    Please watch it just right 
                    So you'll last through the night, 
               For I certainly don't want to sin again." 

4. 




               A geologist named Dr. Robb 
               Was perturbed by his thingamabob, 
                    So he took up his pick 
                    And whanged off his wick, 
               And calmly went on with his job. 

5. 



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