Today's poems [11.3.07]

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Many many years ago
when I was twenty three,
I got married to a widow
who was pretty as could be.

This widow had a grown-up daughter
who had hair of red.
My father fell in love with her,
and soon the two were wed.

This made my dad my son-in-law
And changed my very life.
My daughter was my mother,
For she was my father's wife.

To complicate the matters worse,
Although it brought me joy,
I soon became the father
Of a bouncing baby boy.

My little baby then became
A brother-in-law to dad.
And so became my uncle,
Though it made me very sad.

For if he was my uncle,
Then that also made him brother
To the widow's grown-up daughter
Who, of course, was my step-mother.

Father's wife then had a son,
Who kept them on the run.
And he became my grandson,
For he was my daughter's son.

My wife is now my mother's mother
And it makes me blue.
Because, although she is my wife,
She is my grandma too.

If my wife is my grandmother,
Then I am her grandchild.
And every time I think of it,
It simply drives me wild.

For now I have become
The strangest case you ever saw.
As the husband of my grandmother,
I am my own grandpa.

While in Athens a tourist named Joan
Told her guide, with a trace of a groan,
"Though a fuck is just fine
when I'm lying supine
It's a pain in the ass when I'm prone!"

                    There once was a lass from Seattle
                            
                    Who had a habit of sucking off cattle,
                            'Till a bull from the south
                            Shot a load in her mouth
                            
                    And made her ovaries rattle!

There was a young girl named Prentice
Who had an affair with her dentist.
He used anathesia
Which made things quite easier
And diddled her non compos mentis. 

There was a young gal from Montana
Who had an affair with a banana.
She hugged it and squeezed it,
Loved it and teased it, and said
"It tastes better than a mana." 

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