Today's poems [11.29.07]

Vote for the poem that you really like by checking a box next to it. Then press the VOTE button to submit your votes. Also, links to poem categories and "Send to Friend" will open in a new window, so as not to interrupt your poem reading.

Hit By A Bus     By Andy Christopfel

Late
God I'm late
For today...today I have a date
With my professor that is
Gotta go
Gotta run
Gotta hurry, no time for fun
shoot me
kill me
stab me with a knife
School is much more important than this 
precious little life
Whizzing past the students
Running blindly pass the campus sights
I take a step into the street and meet 
my creator's device
Call me an idiot
Call me a damn fool
I did not do it in the name of love,
Rather, in the name of school
Pick up the telephone and call that paramedic...
While you're at it, call my mommy too
But now it's too late,
And there's nothing that you can do
I can't even speak, scream, yell or cuss
Oh my God! Oh my God!
I've been HIT BY A BUS

Sent by andrew christopfel

A pathetic old maid of Bordeaux
Fell in love with a dashing young beau.
To entice his regard
She would squat in his yard
And appealingly piss in the snow. 

                    "My body, by my own admission,"
                            
                    I told him, "is in top condition."
                            I said with a snigger,
                            "I worship my figure."
                            
                    Then he tried to embrace my religion.
                                              

There was an old girl of Kilkenny
Whose usual charge was a penny.
For half of that sum
You could finger her bum;
A source of amusement to many. 

There once was a man from Calcutta
Who spoke with a terrible stutter
To the waiter he said,
"Give me bu-bu-bu-bread
and some bu-bu-bu-bu-bu-bu-butter."

Sent by Jennifer 

By voting you are helping select today's best poem. This helps us provide you with better quality humor in the future, as well as to select the best poems to send in our daily best humor mailing.

But wait! Don't forget to read Today's Jokes Today's Stories Today's Quotes Today's Funny Pic   November '07 Poems Issues: S M T W Th F St 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26 27 28 29 30