Today's jokes [11.6.07]

Vote for the joke that you really like by checking a box next to it. Then press the VOTE button to submit your votes. Also, links to joke categories and "Send to Friend" will open in a new window, so as not to interrupt your joke reading.

A very successful businessman had a meeting with his new
son-in-law. "I love my daughter, and now I welcome you into the
family," said the man.  "To show you how much we care for you,
I'm making you a 50-50 partner in my business.  All you have to
do is go to the factory every day and learn the operations."

The son-in-law interrupted, "I hate factories. I can't stand the
noise."

"I see," replied the father-in-law. "Well then you'll work in the
office and take charge of some of the operations."

"I hate office work," said the son-on-law. "I can't stand being
stuck behind a desk all day."

"Wait a minute," said the father-in-law. "I just made you a
half-owner of a profitable corporation, but you don't like
factories and won't work in a office.  What am I going to do with
you?"

"Easy," said the young man. "Buy me out!!!"

An American touring Spain stopped at a local restaurant following a day 
of sightseeing. While sipping his sangria, he noticed a sizzling, 
scrumptious looking platter being served at the next table. Not only did 
it look good, the smell was wonderful. He asked the waiter, "What is that 
you just served?"

The waiter replied, " Ah senor, you have excellent taste! Those are bulls 
testicles from the bull fight this morning.  A delicacy!"

The American, though momentarily daunted, said, "What the hell, I'm on 
vacation! Bring me an order!"

The waiter replied, "I am so sorry senor. There is only one serving per 
day because there is only one bull fight each morning. If you come early 
tomorrow and place your order, we will be sure to save you this delicacy!"

The next morning, the American returned, placed his order, and then that 
evening he was served the one and only special delicacy of the day.  
After a few bites, and inspecting the contents of his platter, he called 
to the waiter and said, "These are delicious, but they are much, much 
smaller than the ones I saw you serve yesterday!"

The waiter shrugged his shoulders and replied, "Si senor. Sometimes the 
bull wins."

How many surrealists does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

Two.
One to hold the giraffe and the other to fill the bathtub with
brightly colored machine tools.

A blonde began a job as an Junior  school counselor, and she 
was eager to help. One day during break she noticed a boy 
standing by himself on the side of a playing field while the 
rest of the kids enjoyed a game of football at the other. 
Sandy approached and asked if he was alright.

The boy said he was. A little while later, however, Sandy 
noticed the boy was in the same spot, still by himself. 
Approaching again, Sandy said, "Would you like me to be 
your friend?" The boy hesitated, then said, "Okay", looking 
at the woman suspiciously. Feeling she was making progress, 
Sandy then asked "Why are you standing here all alone? 
Why don't you go and join those boys playing football over 
there?" "Because," the little boy said with great exasperation, 

"I'm the bloody goalie."


Sent by Gerald

What do you call someone who fucks kids in the ass?

A backdoor pedofile!

By voting you are helping select today's best joke. This helps us provide you with better quality humor in the future, as well as to select the best jokes to send in our daily best humor mailing.

But wait! Don't forget to read Today's Stories Today's Poems Today's Quotes Today's Funny Pic   November '07 Jokes Issues: S M T W Th F St 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26 27 28 29 30