Today's jokes [11.4.07]

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A husband and wife came for counseling after 15 years of marriage. When
asked what the problem was, the wife went into a passionate, painful tirade
listing every problem they had ever had in the 15 years they had been married.

She went on and on and on; neglect, lack of intimacy, emptiness,
loneliness, feeling unloved and unlovable, an entire laundry list of un-met
needs she had endured over the course of their marriage.

Finally, after allowing this to go on for a sufficient length of time, the
therapist got up, walked around the desk and, after asking the wife to
stand, embraced and kissed her passionately. The woman shut up and quietly
sat down as though in a daze.

The therapist turned to the husband and said, 'This is what your wife needs
at least three times a week. Can you do this?'

The husband thought for a moment and replied,.. 'Well, I can drop her off
here on Mondays and Wednesdays, but on Fridays, I fish.'

Paddy wanted to be an accountant, so he went for an aptitude test.

Tester: If I give you two rabbits, two rabbits, and another two rabbits, 
how many rabbits have you got?
Paddy: Seven!
Tester: No, listen carefully again. If I give you two rabbits, two 
rabbits, and another two rabbits, how many rabbits have you got?
Paddy: Seven!
Tester: Let's try this another way. If I give you two bottles of beer, 
two bottles of beer, and another two bottles of beer, how many bottles of 
beer have you got?
Paddy: Six.
Tester: Good! Now, if I give you two rabbits, two rabbits, and another 
two rabbits, how many rabbits have you got? 
Paddy: Seven!
Tester: How on earth do you work out that three lots of two rabbits is 
seven?
Paddy : I've already got one rabbit at home!

If lawyers are disbarred and clergymen defrocked,
doesn't it follow that electricians can be delighted,
musicians denoted, cowboys deranged, models deposed,
tree surgeons debarked, and dry cleaners depressed?

What is an activity performed by 40% of all people at a party?

Snoop in your medicine cabinet.

If you take an Oriental person and spin him
around several times, does he become disoriented?

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