Today's jokes [11.24.07]

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A man went to the doctor for a check up. "How do you feel?" asked the 
doctor. "Fine." he replied. After a few more general health questions the 
doctor asked, "How many times do you have sex per month?" "About two or
three." the man replied. "You should be doing better than that." the 
doctor offered. "Take these pills and come back in a month." The man did 
and a month later he was again asked by the doctor, "How many times did 
you have sex last month?" "About two or three times." the man answered 
again. "I can't understand it," the doctor continued, "you should be doing 
much better than that." "I don't know," replied the man, "that's not bad 
for having no car and a small parish."

   A guy runs out of a Las Vegas hotel and says to a stranger, "Can you
   loan me two hundred bucks? My wife had a terrible accident."
   
   The stranger says, "If you need two hundred dollars, what are you
   using to gamble with?"
   
   The guy replies, "Oh, I've got gambling money."
   

Q: What do you get when you cross a matzo ball with LSD?

A: A trip to Israel.

A salesman is talking to a farmer when he looks over and sees 
a rooster wearing pants, a shirt, and suspenders.  He says, 
"What the hell is that all about?"

The farmer says, "We had a fire in the chicken coop and all 
his feathers got  singed off, so the wife made him some 
clothes to keep him warm. There ain't nothing funnier than 
watching him try to hold down a hen with one foot and get his 
pants down with the other."

ZipperGate Update...

In a deal engineered by veteran mouthpieces Stein and Cacheris, Ms.
Lewinsky has apparently headed off possible perjury charges by offering a
full throated confession to Kenneth Starr. Sources close to the
investigation report Starr is pumping Ms. Lewinsky for details concerning
an oral pact with Mr. Clinton to withhold evidence. Although the
independent prosecutor's team will drill Monica prior to her testimony,
beltway observers do not anticipate a full dress rehearsal.

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