Today's jokes [11.23.07]

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Larry's barn burned down, and Susan, his wife, called the insurance
company ...

Susan: We had that barn insured for fifty thousand and I want my money.
Agent: Whoa there just a minute, Susan; it doesn't work quite like that. 
We will ascertain the value of the old barn and provide you with a new one 
of comparable worth.
Susan, after a pause: I'd like to cancel the policy on my husband.

Why does the new Polish Navy have glass bottomed boats?

So they can see the old Polish Navy! 

After church on Sunday morning, a young boy suddenly 
announced to his mother, "Mom, I've decided I'm going to be a 
minister when I grow up. 

"That's okay with us," the mother said, "But what made you 
decide to be a minister?" 

"Well," the boy replied, "I'll have to go to church on Sunday 
anyway, and I figure it will be more fun to stand up and yell than 
to sit still and listen.

This young lady, a flighty young thing, got a job cleaning the bank windows
in the evening after the bank closed for business. Anyway, she was up this
ladder, cleaning good and proper and as she was in the habit of wearing no
knickers, every young man who would come along would stop and stare for a
second or two. But this evening an old geezer came along and stayed
looking.
"What are you looking at" she said.
"I'm looking at the moon" he said.
"Well, if you were here last night, you would have seen a man in it" she
said. 

A big-city lawyer was representing the railroad in a lawsuit filed 
by an old rancher. The rancher's prize bull was missing from 
the section through which the railroad passed. The rancher only 
wanted to be paid the fair value of the bull. 

The case was scheduled to be tried before the justice of the 
peace in the back room of the general store. The city-slicker 
attorney for the railroad immediately cornered the rancher and 
tried to get him to settle out of court. 

He did his best selling job, and finally the rancher agreed to 
take half of what he was asking. 

After the rancher had signed the release and took the check, 
the young lawyer couldn't resist gloating a little over his 
success, telling the rancher, "You are really a country hick, old 
man, but I put one over on you in there. I couldn't have won the 
case. The engineer was asleep and the fireman was in the 
caboose when the train went through your ranch that morning. I 
didn't have one witness to put on the stand. I bluffed you!" 

The old rancher replied, "Well, I'll tell you young feller, I was a 
little worried about winning that case myself, because that 
durned bull came home this morning." 

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