Today's jokes [11.15.07]

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A solider stationed in the South Pacific wrote to his wife in the States to please send him a harmonica to occupy his free time
and keep his mind off of the local women. The wife complied and sent the best one she could find, along with several dozen
lesson & music books.

Rotated back home, he rushed to their home and thru the front door. "Oh darling" he gushed, "Come here... let me look
at you... let me hold you ! Let's have a fine dinner out, then make love all night. I've missed your lovin' so much !"

The wife, keeping her distance, said, "All in good time lover. First, let's hear you play that harmonica." 

   After the lavish wedding reception, the newlyweds retired to their
   Honeymoon Suite. The groom turned down the lights and found some nice
   CDs to stack on the player. Then he excused himself and returned in
   pajamas and robe. He opened a bottle of champagne and poured them each
   a drink, unaware that his new bride had already had more than enuff to
   drink. Finally, he took the girl of his dreams, whom he had wed after
   a whirl-wind courtship, by the hand and tenderly began to lead her
   towards the bedroom.
   
   "Damn !" she muttered, "every stinking time I go out with a guy it
   always ends up the same way."

The man walked past the armored car and hears people talking inside. He 
stepped closer to hear what they were saying: "I see you, and I'll raise 
you another sixty thousand."

   There was this fisherman that always had a good day fishing.
   His friend, the game warden, couldn't figure out how he did
   it, so one day the game warden decided to go fishing with
   his friend. The fisherman took his friend the warden out
   to his favorite spot. Once there, the fisherman took a
   stick of dynamite out of his backpack, lit it, and threw
   it into the water. The dynamite exploded and a dozen fish
   floated to the top. The game warden said, "That's illegal,
   you can't do that."The fisherman goes, "Really?" He then
   lights another stick of dynamite and throws it into the water.
   The dynamite exploded, and a dozen more fish floated to the
   top. The game warden said, "Stop that now, and take this
   boat back to shore...I'm going to have to give you a citation
   and confiscate all your gear." The fisherman said,"Oh, really?"
   He then lights another stick of dynamite, throws it into
   the game warden's lap, and said "You gonna sit there and
   keep flapping your trap, or are you gonna fish?"
   

What is the definition of Agony?


                                         A one-armed man hanging off a cliff with itchy balls.

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