Today's jokes [11.13.07]

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    She said, "Kiss me doctor!" 

    Doctor said, "I can't as we doctors have an ethics 
    standard that does not allow us to kiss our patients, 
    in fact, I really shouldn't be fucking you."

The complaint letter from Judi:

We blonds at the ofise are tired of all the the dum stoopid jokes 
about us. We think this is hairassment. It causes us grate 
stress and makes our roots turn dark. We have hired a loyer 
and he is talking to the loyers at Clairol. We will take this all 
the way to the supream cort if we have two. Juj Thomas knos 
all about hairassment and he will be on are side.

We have also talked to the govner to make a new law to stop 
this pursicushun. 

We want a law that makes peepol tell brewnet jokes as much 
as blond jokes and every so often a red head joke. If we don't 
get our way we will not date anybody that ain't blond and we 
will make up jokes about you and we will laff. 

Sined by the blonds at the ofise 
(sine with a penseel so you can erace it if you make a mistake)

   Tommy, Johnny and Harry were standing around bullshitting about how
   tough their fathers were.
   
   "My dad went 12 rounds with Mike Tyson. Lick that!" said young Harry.
   
   "Well, my dad did two tours of Vietnam and killed 19 men... so lick
   that!" Tommy said.
   
   "That's nothing!" declared little Johnny. "My dad hasn't wiped his ass
   in 10 years... so lick that!"
   

Johnny (age 8) comes into the house for dinner after playing outside all 
afternoon. His parents ask him what he did today. He says that he played 
baseball and then he proposed to Betty (age 7) the next door neighbor. 
They are going to get married. His parents think this is cute, and they 
don't want to make fun of Johnny so they ask Johnny him "How are you and 
Betty going to pay for the expenses of being married?" He replies "Well 
with the $1 I get each week from you and the $1 she gets from her Mom and 
Dad, we should do o.k." His father says "That's fine, but how will you pay 
the extra expenses if you and Betty have a baby?" Johnny answers "Well, so 
far, we've been lucky..."

A guy calls the hospital. He says, "You gotta send help! My wife's going
into labor!"

The nurse says, "Calm down. Is this her first child?"

He says, "No! This is her husband!"

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