Today's stories [1.27.07]

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Safeway has made a $1.7 billion offer for Vons markets.
Says Bob Mills, "The amount of the bid became public
after a checkout clerk was overheard yelling 'Price check
on the company!'"

He adds, "the original offer was $2 billion, but then Safeway
pulled out a huge stack of double-value coupons." 

IDIOTS IN SERVICE

This week, all our phones went dead and I had to call the phone
repair people.  They promised to be out between 8 a.m. and 7 p.m.
When I asked if they could give me a smaller time window,he asked
and I quote, "Would you like us to call before we come?"
He also requested that we report future outages by email.  Does
YOUR email work without a telephone line??????

And now, news from the Royal wedding...

On the day of the wedding, Sophie was getting dressed, surrounded
by all her family, and she suddenly realised she had forgotten to
get any shoes.
Panic!
Then her sister remembered that she had a pair of white shoes
from her wedding so she lent them to Sophie for the day.
Unfortunately they were a bit too small and by the time the
festivities were over Sophie's feet were agony.  When she and
Edward withdrew to their room the only thing she could think  of
was getting her shoes off.
The rest of the Family crowded round the door to the bedroom and
they heard roughly what they expected, grunts, straining noises
and the occasional muffled scream. Eventually they heard Edward
say "God that was tight"
"There," whispered the Queen. "I told you she was a virgin."
Then to their surprise, they heard Edward say. "Right. Now for
the other one."
Followed by more grunting and straining and at last Edward said,
"My God.  That was even tighter"
That's my boy," said the Duke. "Once a sailor, always a sailor."

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