Today's stories [1.23.07]

Vote for the story that you really like by checking a box next to it. Then press the VOTE button to submit your votes. Also, links to story categories and "Send to Friend" will open in a new window, so as not to interrupt your story reading.

PORTLAND, OR - A man was admitted to an emergency clinic with severe
bruising and lacerations on his penis and testicles, caused in an accident
involving a hand held vacuum cleaner. The man had been vacuuming, wearing
only a bathrobe, when he tripped, having been distracted because his robe
fell open. "It always does that," he said. "I keep meaning to rig up some
kind of tie for it, but I never do. I guess I'll get around to it now." He
fell on the vacuum and the small beater bar of the device caused enough
damage to require fifteen stitches and an overnight stay at the clinic.

Modern Travel: To promote airline safety, a proposed FAA rule
would require that every suitcase checked on a US flight be
on the same plane as its owner. "That means that even though
you want to fly to Orlando at 9am, you may end up on the 10pm
plane to Boise." (Jerry Perisho)

Major airlines oppose the plan. "They are even against a less
stringent rule that would require luggage and owners to be in the
same country." 

Once in a diner, I wanted a Ham &  Tomato toasted
sandwich.  After about 10 minutes the waitress came back
and apologized.  "We don't have Ham and Tomato toasted
sandwiches but you can have the  'Special'."  I asked
what was in the Special.  "Ham, Tomato, Cheese . . . "

By voting you are helping select today's best story. This helps us provide you with better quality humor in the future, as well as to select the best stories to send in our daily best humor mailing.

But wait! Don't forget to read Today's Jokes Today's Poems Today's Quotes Today's Funny Pic   January '07 Stories Issues: S M T W Th F St 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26 27 28 29 30 31