Sometimes, I wonder if men and women really suit each other. Perhaps they should live next door, and just visit now and then." 

              - Katharine Hepburn

There is only one thing a philosopher can be relied on to do,
and that is to contradict other philosophers.

        --William James

I belong to Bridegrooms Anonymous. Whenever I feel
like getting married, they send over a lady in a
housecoat and hair curlers to burn my toast for me. 

                                   -- Dick Martin

George W. Bush: The President Quayle We Never Had

"My computer screen says 'Press any key to continue'. Can I borrow your keys?
 Mine are locked in my Yugo..."
                        -- Some Guy (from Dilbert)