When I was a kid, my favourite relative was Uncle Caveman. After
       school we'd all go play in his cave, and every once in awhile he
       would eat one of us. It wasn't until later that I found out that
       Uncle Caveman was a bear.

"Elizabeth Taylor has more chins than
the Chinese telephone directory." 

Joan Rivers.

"Game over boys!"
                        -- Mr. Flibble

Government doesn't work. 

     - Harry Browne 

"Every cloud has a silver up the creek without a paddle horse."
                        -- A bunch of people, via Jason B. Standing, Esq.