One of the major functions of skin is to keep people who look at you from throwing up. -- Actual exam answer
Expecting the world to treat you fairly because you are a good person is a little like expecting the bull not to attack you because you are a vegetarian. -Dennis Wholey
Women's creed: Men are like linoleum. If you lay them right the first time, you can walk on them for 20 years.
"It's true... no man is an island... but if you take a bunch of dead guys and tie 'em together, they make a pretty good raft." -- Bug Eyed Earl, Red Meat.
"Every cloud has a silver up the creek without a paddle horse." -- A bunch of people, via Jason B. Standing, Esq.
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