There was a young vampire called Mabel
Whose periods were very unstable.
One night by the moon,
She pulled out a spoon
And drank herself under the table.
There once was a man from Rangoon
Who was born 9 months too soon.
He didn't have the luck
To be born by a fuck;
He was scraped off the sheets with a spoon.
There was a young fellow named Goff
Whose amusement was jacking it off
He pulled it so hard
It stretched out a yard.
And turned to bright blue and fell off.
A nymphomaniacal nurse
With a curse that was worse than perverse
Stuck a rotary drill
Up her twat, for a thrill---
And they carted her off in a hearse.
A maiden sat under a tree
And played with the lad's fiddle-dee,
His little wood post---
Soon her jewel is lost
From the casket where it used to be.
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