Today's poems [1.31.07]

Vote for the poem that you really like by checking a box next to it. Then press the VOTE button to submit your votes. Also, links to poem categories and "Send to Friend" will open in a new window, so as not to interrupt your poem reading.

               The cross-eyed old painter McNeff 
               Was color-blind, palsied, and deaf. 
                    When he asked to be touted 
                    The critics all shouted: 
               "This is art with a capital F!" 

There once was a fiesty young terrier
Who liked to bite girls on the derriere.
He'd yip and he'd yap,
Then leap up and snap;
And the fairer the derriere the merrier.

               There was a young girl in Berlin 
               Who ecked out a living through sin. 
                    She didn't mind fucking, 
                    But much preferred sucking, 
               And she'd wipe off the pricks on her chin.

Razors pains you,
Rivers are damp;
Acids stains you'
And drugs cause cramps.
Guns aren't lawful,
Nooses gives;
Gases smells awful,
You might as well live.

         ---Anon

A virgin felt urged in Toulouse 
               Till she thought she would try sef-abuse. 
                    In search of a hard on 
                    She ran out in the garden, 
               And was had by a statue of Zeus. 

By voting you are helping select today's best poem. This helps us provide you with better quality humor in the future, as well as to select the best poems to send in our daily best humor mailing.

But wait! Don't forget to read Today's Jokes Today's Stories Today's Quotes Today's Funny Pic   January '07 Poems Issues: S M T W Th F St 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26 27 28 29 30 31