Today's poems [1.27.07]

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There was a young man named Ringer,
Who was seducing a beautiful singer.
He said with a grin,
"I've now rammed it in!"
She said, "You mean that isn't your finger?" 

There once was a man from Madras
With testicles made of spun glass
When he rubbed them together
They played "Stormy Weather"
And lightning shot out of his ass

Sent by karen

When Asimov penned long ago
The Three Laws that all robots know,
Had Star Wars shown then,
The Fourth would have been:
"A robot must not steal the show." 

A pretty young maid from Australia 
            Painted her ass like a dahlia. 
                The colour was fine, 
                And so the design, 
            But the smell was still naturalia! 

The Night Before Christmas



Twas the night before Christmas, 
And all through the house, 
Everybody felt shitty, 
Even the mouse.

With mom at the whore house
And Dad smoking grass,
I'd just settled down 
For a nice piece of ass.

When out on the lawn 
I heard such a clatter,
I sprung from my piece
To see what was the matter.

Then out on the lawn,
I saw a big dick,
And I knew in a moment
That it must be Saint Nick.

He came down the chimney 
Like a bat out of hell,
And I knew right away
That the fucker had fell.

He filled all our stockings 
With pretzels and beer,
And a big rubber dick
For my brother, the queer.

He rose up the chimney
With a thunderous fart; 
The damn son of a bitch
Blew the chimney apart!

He swore and he cursed,
As he rode out of sight,
"Piss on you all,
And have a hell of a night!"

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