Today's poems [1.26.07]

Vote for the poem that you really like by checking a box next to it. Then press the VOTE button to submit your votes. Also, links to poem categories and "Send to Friend" will open in a new window, so as not to interrupt your poem reading.

The bustard's a fortuitous fowl, 
               Who has but small reason to growl. 
                    He avoids illigitemacy 
                    By the simple expediency 
               Of the use of an alternate vowel. 

                    There was a young lady who came from Decatur,
                            
                    Sang like a bird in a movie theater.
                            An alley cat heard
                            Her sing like a bird,
                            
                    So he snuck in her room and he ate her.
                            

There was a young girl called Lewinsky,
   Who caused as much stir as Kaczynski
   When on Kenneth Starr's lap
   she confided, when trapped,
   "Bill Clinton is hung like Nijinsky." *
   (*Nijinsky is a thoroughbred racehorse not to be confused with the
   ballet dancer.)


  

Ultimate Haiku



                                           The only problem
                                   with Haiku is that you just
                                        get started and then

                                                - Author unknown

Seven wise men with knoweldge so fine,

Created a pussy to their design.

First was a butcher, smart and with,

Using a knife, he gave it a slit.

Second was a carpenter, strong and bold,

Using a hammer and chissel, he gave it a hole.

Third was a tailor, tall and thin,

With a piece of red velvet, he lines it within.

Fourth was a hunter, short and stout,

With a piece of fox fur, he lined it without.

Fifth was a fisherman nasty as hell,

He threw in a fish, and gave it a smell.

Next came a pretcher whose name was McGee,

Touched it and blessed it and said it could pee.

Last came a biker, dirty little nut,

Sucked it and fucked it and called it a cunt.


Sent by Christine

By voting you are helping select today's best poem. This helps us provide you with better quality humor in the future, as well as to select the best poems to send in our daily best humor mailing.

But wait! Don't forget to read Today's Jokes Today's Stories Today's Quotes Today's Funny Pic   January '07 Poems Issues: S M T W Th F St 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26 27 28 29 30 31