There once was a man from New Boston, 
            Who bought a new sportscar--an Austin; 
                There was room for his ass, 
                And a gallon of gas, 
            And his balls hung out till he lost 'em. 

An unfortunate fellow named Chase 
Had an ass that was not quite in place, 
And he showed indignation 
When an investigation 
Showed that some people shit through their face, 

               Winter is here with his grouch, 
               The time when you sneeze and slouch. 
                    You can't take your women 
                    Canoein' or swimmin', 
               But a lot can be done on a couch. 

A pious young lady named Finnegan 
               Would caution her beau, "Now you're in again, 
                    Please watch it just right 
                    So you'll last through the night, 
               For I certainly don't want to sin again." 

It's only human nature after all 
               If a fellow puts a girl against the wall 
                    And puts his inclination 
                    Into her accomodation 
                    To increase the population 
                    Of the rising generation--- 
               Why, it's only human natrue after all.