There was a young fellow named Meek
Who invented a lingual technique,
It drove women frantic
And made them romantic,
And wore all the hair off his cheek.

There was a young girl from Devizes
Who had titz of different sizes
        One was small
        Almost nothing at all
And the other was big, and won prizes.

There was an old spinster of Tyre 
            Who bellowed, "My cunt is on fire!" 
                So a fireman was found, 
                Brought his engine around, 
            And extinguished her burning desire. 

A farmer I know named O'Doole
Has a long and incredible tool.
He can use it to plow,
Or to diddle a cow,
Or just as a cue-stick at pool. 

There once was a baker of Nottingham,
Who in making eclairs would put snot in 'em.
When he ran out of snot,
He would, like as not,
Take his pecker and jack off a shot in 'em.