There once was a man from Nantucket
Whose cock was so long he could suck it
He said with a grin
Wiping sperm from his chin
If my ear was a cunt I could Fuck it! 

There was a young fellow named Bliss
Whose sex live was strangely amiss.
For even with Venus
His recalcitrant penis
Would seldom do better than t
                            h
                            i
                            s
                            .

Mary had a little lamb (The sad European version)

Mary had a little lamb,
its coat was full off fleas,
but even worse the little cunt
had foot and mouth disease.

Mary had a little lamb,
its mouth was full of blisters,
but now its on a bonfire,
with all its brothers and sisters.

Sent by Jack

There was a long lady named Weaver 
               Who had intercourse with a beaver. 
                    The result of their fuck 
                    Was a canvas-back duck, 
               Two muskrats and a hump-backed retriever. 

There was an old man of Madrid 
            Who went to an auction to bid. 
                In the first lot they sold 
                Was an ancient commode--- 
            And, my God, when they lifted the lid!