A proper young person named Gissing 
            Announced he had given up kissing. 
                "I strike out at once 
                For something that counts, 
            And besides my girl's front teeth are missing." 

                    The ancient orthographer, Chisholm.
                            
                    Caused a lexicographical schism
                            When he asked to know whether
                            "Twere known which was better
                            
                    To use "g" or "j" to spell "jism."
                            
                                              

There once was a guy named Dave,
Who dug up a whore from a grave.
She was moldy and shitty,
And only had one titty
But look at the money he saved!

Said a girl from Staraya Russa,
Whom the war had made looser and looser,
"Yes, I'm wormin' a German,
A vermin named Hermann,
But his dink is a lollapalooza!"

There was a gay dog from Ontario 
            Who fancied himself a Lothario. 
                At a wench's glance 
                He'd snatch off his pants 
            And make for her Mons Venerio.