Brian is an idiot!
And everybody knows
When he goes to bed at night
He puts polish on his toes
Brian is so stupid
He sucks himself all day
And when I went to a farm once
And saw him eating hay
Brian is a numbskull
He loves a girl named Jade
And he wanted her to kiss him so much
Once he even paid
There was a young lady named Clair
Who possessed a magnificent pair.
Or at least so I thought,
Till I saw one get caught
On a thorn, and began losing air.
There was a young Scot in Madrid
Who got fifty-five fucks for a quid.
When they said, "Are you faint?"
He replied, "No, I ain't,
But I don't feel as good as I did."
There was a young man named Sweeny
Who spilt some gin on his weenie,
So just to be couth,
He added vermouth
And slipped his girl a martini.
Our vicar's an absolute lamb;
But when he sat dawn in a jam
On taking his seat
At our sunday school treat
We all heard the poor man say:...
"... Stand up, please, while I say grace !"
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