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Today's jokes [1.3.07]

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What's the definition of bravery?

A man with diarrhea chancing a fart!

1.   Vote:    Category: Medicine Send this joke to a friend

   A man visits his doctor.
   "I think I have a problem, doc," said the patient. "One of my balls
   has turned blue."
   The doctor examined the man briefly and concluded the patient would
   die if they didn't have his testicle removed.
   "Are you crazy?!" exclaimed the patient, "How could I let you do such
   a thing to me?"
   "Do you want to die?", asked the doctor rhetorically, and the patient
   had to agree to have his testicle removed. But two weeks after the
   operation, he came back.
   "Doc, I don't know how to say this, but the other ball has turned blue
   Again, the doctor told him that if he wants to live, his other
   testicle must be cut off too. And again, the man was very reluctant.
   "Hey, do you want to die?", asked the doc, and the patient had to
   agree to the operation.
   But, about two weeks after he is testicleless, he returned to the
   doctor. "I think something is very wrong with me. My penis is now
   completely blue."
   After briefly examining the patient once again, the doc gives him the
   bad news. If he wants to live, his penis has to go.
   Of course, he did not want to hear about it. "You really want to
   die?", asked the doctor.
   "But... how do I pee?"
   "We'll install an plastic pipe, and there will be no problem."
   So, the penis is removed and a while after the operation, the
   unfortunate man again returns the doctor's office. He is very angry.
   "Doctor, the plastic pipe turned blue."
   "Can you tell me what a hell is happening?"
   So, the doctor examined the patient more carefully this time, and
   says, "Hmmmm, I think its the jeans......"

2.   Vote:    Category: Medicine Send this joke to a friend

   The three dwarves were in rome and went to the nearest nunnery. They
   got to talk to the
   mother superior.
   "Excuse us, but can you tell us where the dwarf nuns are?"
   "Sorry", she replies, "but there are no dwarf nuns here".
   "Well, are there any in the city?".
   "No, there are no dwarf nuns".
   "What, none anywhere in Europe?"
   "No, little man". "None in the entire world". "Take my word for it".
   At this 6 of the seven dwarves burst out laughing.
   The Mother Superior asks "What's so funny?". "Dopey just fucked a

3.   Vote:    Category: Sex Send this joke to a friend

Lorena Bobbitt had just cut off her husband's penis. She was driving down 
the road, wondering what to do with it, when the thought struck her to 
toss it out the window. The penis bounced off the windscreen of the car 
travelling in the opposite direction.
"Shit," said the driver to his passenger. "What kind of bug was that?"
"Dunno," he replied. "But did you see the size of the cock on it?!"

4.   Vote:    Category: Ouch! Send this joke to a friend

Joe, the neighborhood chronic borrower approached his 
neighbor, "Ray, may I borrow your axe?"  

"Not today," Ray replied, "I have to make soup."

"What kind of excuse it that?!" demanded Joe.  

"Well," confessed Ray, "I admit its a lousy excuse.  But, if I 
don't want to loan you my axe, one excuse is as good as 

5.   Vote:    Category: Miscellaneous Send this joke to a friend

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