Today's jokes [1.24.07]

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It seems that Abe and Morey, two salesmen for an advertising agency,
were traveling together through the midwest, when they were caught
between towns during a driving snow storm.
The further they went, the worse conditions got, and they finally
slid off into a ditch. Fortunately there was a house quite nearby.
They waded through the drifts to the house, and after a short
conversation with the lady who answered the door, they were able to
convince her that they were no danger to her, and she let them come in.
She prepared a meal for them, and during the conversation Abe and
Morey learned that she was a widow of a few years standing.
Conditions continued to deteriorate, and she prepared the guest room
for Abe and Morey.
The next day about 10:00 AM, a snowplow came through and helpfully
pulled the salesmen's car our of the ditch, after cleaning the road.
Abe and Morey thanked th widow Brown and went on their rounds.
Nine months later, Abe called Morey, and asked if Morey had, by some
chance, happened to have drifted down the hall to the wodow Brown's
bedroom after he (Abe) had gone to sleep. After a little hemming and
hawing, Morey admitted he had. With a little further prodding, he
admitted that he had given the good lady Abe's name, address and phone
number as his own.
Where upon Abe said, "That explains this letter from her lawyer saying
she has left her entire estate to me!" 

How do you tell two KKK members apart?



Ask their wife. After all, she's their mother....

A decorated war veteran, fresh off the bus, is looking for a place to 
stay. He hears that room and board is available from the three old 
spinsters at the edge of town, but is advised they are very picky in 
letting strangers stay there.  He decides to chance it, and limps on up to 
the front door.
His knock is answered by Gladys.  "What do you want, sonny?" she asks him.
"Ma'am, I'm just looking for a hot meal and a room for the night," he
answers.
The other two old spinsters gather around the door.  "Who's out there? 
Does he look decent?" they ask.
Gladys says, "It's a soldier, and he's got a Purple Heart on."
The other two spinsters giggle and say, "The hell with what color it is...
let him in!"

   A guy was sitting at the Super Bowl in the very best seat available.
   
   The guy on his left noticed there was an empty seat next to him and
   said, "Can you believe someone actually paid for that seat and didn't
   come to the game?"
   
   The fellow next to him replied, "Actually that's my wife's seat...we
   bought these tickets months ago. Unfortunately, my wife passed away so
   I came alone."
   
   "I'm sorry to hear that, but why didn't you give the ticket to a
   family member or friend?"
   
   "Oh, they're all at the funeral."
   

The preacher was wired for sound with a lapel mike, and as he 
preached, he moved briskly about the platform, jerking the mike 
cord as he went. 

Then he moved to one side, getting wound up in the cord and 
nearly tripping before jerking it again. 

After several circles and jerks, a little girl in the third pew 
leaned toward her mother and whispered, "If he gets loose, will 
he hurt us?"

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