An old man and woman were married for years even though
they hated each other. When they had a confrontation,
screams and yelling could be heard deep into the night. A
constant statement was heard by the neighbors who feared the
man the most. "When I die I will dig my way up and out of the
grave to come back and haunt you for the rest of your life!"
They believed he practiced black magic and was responsible
for missing cats and dogs, and strange sounds at all hours. He
was feared and enjoyed the respect it garnished.
He died abruptly under strange circumstances and the funeral
had a closed casket. After the burial, the wife went straight to
the local bar and began to party as if there was no tomorrow.
The gaiety of her actions were becoming extreme while her
neighbors approached in a group to ask these questions: Are
you not afraid? Concerned? Worried? that this man who
practiced black magic and stated when he died he would dig
his way up and out of the grave to come back and haunt you for
the rest of your life?
The wife put down her drink and said..."let the old bastard dig.
I had him buried upside down."
And now, from our favourite fairy-tales....
Why does Peter Pan Fly?
You'd fly to if you got hit in the peter with a pan.
English: This is your Captain speaking, we have leveled off and are
cruising at flight level three five zero, feel free to move about the
cabin, also the First Officer has turned off the no smoking sign, the
flight attendants will be serving cocktails and refreshments momentarily,
so just sit back and enjoy the rest of the flight, we'll be arriving at
our destination in 20 minutes, and I expect no delays. Enjoy the rest of
Ebonics: Ebonia Airlines Dis be yo' main man, we be chillin at tray-five
-o, if you be flexin get up off yo ass and shake that thang, my homey be
killin the man's opression if you wanna smoke chronic, just hang loose
blood, them bitches be cruizin on up with some forty-ounce 8-ball, so stop
trippin and sit your ass back down, we be in the hood in no time afterall,
i be bumpin switches all da' way. Peace out!
What's the difference between Love, True Love and showing off?
Spit, swallow and gargle.
After insulting the female genie from the magic bottle, Carlos makes
"To wake up with 3 women in my bed."
She says, "So be it!" and disappears back into the bottle.
The next morning, Carlos wakes up with Lorena Bobbitt, Tonya Harding
and Hillary Clinton. His penis is gone, his leg is broken and he has
no health insurance.
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