Why did God create man first? 

     So he wouldn't have to be told how to do it.

What is a Blondes favorite nursery rhyme? 

Hump me dump me 

Jones is checking out of a hotel when suddenly he has
to take a shit real bad.
The toilet in his room isn't working, so he bolts down
to use the lobby Men's Room, but all of the stalls are
occupied, so he runs back up to his room, and in
desperation, he drops his pants, uproots a plant, and
takes a shit in the pot. Then he puts the plant back in
the pot and leaves.
Two weeks later, he gets a postcard from the hotel that
says, "Dear Mr. Jones, All is forgiven. Just tell us...
where is it?" 

A regular Friday night poker game was still going strong
well after midnight when one of the players returned from
the bathroom with an urgent report. 
"Roger, listen," he told the host, "Walter's in the kitchen
making love to your wife." 
"OK, that's it, guys," Roger said. "This is positively
the last deal." 

Why do men take showers instead of baths?

Pissing in the bath is disgusting.