I can't resist a few:
1. Once you have stolen a dormmate's room keys, the room is yours to
plunder. As a variation, steal the dorm keys but reverse the lock
(so the keyhole faces INTO the room); we had a mechanical engineer
who got this down to about 20 seconds. Then loudly announce to the
victim you own the keys, but "let" them win the race back to their
room. PRESTO! Locked inside their own room (with no keys). If
you've fixed the phone to continually ring, they get very pliable
after about 10 minutes.
2. We connected our secretary's electric typewriter to a variac (can
vary the line voltage). At about 40-50 volts (out of the 110)
the little ball makes three or four jerky attempts before finally
striking a faint imprint. Fairly pathetic looking, actually.
3. Reverse the horizontal yoke leads on terminals (so the text comes
out backwards from right to left). This works best on a software
team who thinks they have just released the firmware for screen
drivers. Besides, hardware people figure it out too quickly.
4. Hand lotion inside of an air hose on the final assembly line is
effective, but very vindictive. Use with caution (now, I'm not
saying I ever did this, but I "saw" it done once :-)
And the standard saran wrap across women's toilets, Karo syrup, flour in
the shower, water-filled surgical tubing jammed in a drawer....ah, for
the good old days!!
A wife begins to get a little worried because her husband has not arrived
home on time from his regular Saturday afternoon golf game. As the hours
pass she becomes more and more concerned until at 8 p.m. the husband
finally pulls into the driveway. "What happened?" says the wife. "You
should have been home hours ago!" "Harry had a heart attack at the third
hole," replied the husband. "Oh, that's terrible," says the wife. "I
know," the husband answers. "All day long it was hit the ball, drag Harry,
hit the ball, drag Harry..."
How do you make a gay baby cry?
Take the pacifier out of his ass.
Why did the one-handed man cross the road?
To get to the second hand shop.
Why do gorillas have big noses?
Because they have big fingers.
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