A whole bunch of us were sitting around my house talking and we 
were trying to remember a guy's name. None of us could remember 
his name at all when all of a sudden my friend yells, "Dick!". 
We said yes that's it. Then she said "Boy, I pulled that one 
out of my ass". No one said anything until I burst out laughing 
and she said "You had to go there didn't you?"

Paul Carthy, 25, pleaded guilty in Exeter, England, in September
to theft subsequent to his original charge of shoplifting from a
liquor store. In the second theft, he had stolen the magnetic
letters off the name board that was held up to his face when his
mug shot was taken. 

My wife is a primary school teacher, and related this tale after
another class returned from a trip to a working farm: 

My wife asked little David if he had enjoyed the trip. 
"Yes it was great - we saw sheep, horses, goats, and f***ers." 
Wife: "er, fine, fine. I know what the sheep and the rest are,
but what is a f***er?" 
David: "Oh, they're the animals that give us milk" 
Wife: "but who said they were called, er, f***ers?" 
David: "that was our teacher. Well actually she called them
"effers," but we all knew what she meant."