Only in Merry Olde England

A young woman who was several months pregnant boarded bus.

When she noticed a young man smiling at her she began feeling
humiliated on account of her condition. She changed her seat
and he seemed more amused. She moved again and then on her fourth
move he burst out laughing. She had him arrested.

When the case came before the court, the young man was asked why
he acted in such a manner. His reply was:

When the lady boarded the bus I couldn't help noticing she was
pregnant. She sat under an advertisement which read "Coming
Soon The Gold Dust Twins", then she moved under one that read
"Sloans Liniments remove Swelling". I was even more amused when
she sat under a shaving advertisement which read "William Stick
Did The Trick". Then I could not control myself any longer when
on the fourth move she sat under an advertisement which read
"Dunlop Rubber would have prevented this accident." 

South Carolina: A man walked into a local police station,
dropped a bag of cocaine on the counter, informed the desk
sergeant that it was substandard cut, and asked that the
person who sold it to him be arrested immediately. 

Overheard on the elevator: 

    "Their marriage was going O.K. until they bought a water bed... then they started
    drifting apart."