My wife used to have the habit of disbelieving something with 
the phrase "my ass!"  She would say "Four hundred dollars, 
my ass!" or "30 minutes late, my ass!"  One day a friend of 
mine and I were having a conversation, which she was listening 
to, and I said something like "...so it would be easy to 
penetrate.."  She chimed in... "Penetrate my ass!"  My friend 
and I laughed so long and hard we forgot what we were even 
talking about!  Needless to say, she doesn't say "my ass!" any 
more.

Women's Embarrassing Moments I

Curl Up and Die
I walked into a hair salon with my husband and three kids in tow and asked 
loudly, "How much do you charge for a shampoo and a blow job?"

Microsoft Corp. dismissed an anti-virus company's claim that
versions of Internet Explorer 3.0 and above possess another
hole in security by calling the feature in question a "design
thing, not a bug."