A mother in Pittsburgh tells of having dinner with her little son and
daughter.  It had been a long, trying day at home, and her husband was
still at the office.  Both children were fussy and didn't want to eat,
and her patience had reached it's limit.  She looked up and sighed, "Oh,
God, help me with these children."  Immediately her four-year-old
daughter bowed her head and was silent.  The mother was delighted,
thinking the girl was asking God to help her be good.  But then the girl
looked up at her and said, "I just asked Him not to help you."

from "Faith, Hope and Hilarity:  The Child's Eye View
of Religion" by Dick Van Dyke

The "Environmental Engineering News" published some rather sobering 
information about punishment for drunk driving convictions in other 
countries. 

In Australia, the names of drunk drivers are printed in
newspapers under the caption, "He's drunk and in jail." 
In Malaysia the driver is jailed and, if married, the
spouse is jailed. 
In the United Kingdom, Finland and Sweden there's an
automatic jail term of one year. 
In Turkey, drunk drivers are driven 20 miles out of town
and forced to walk back. 
In Bulgaria, a second drunk-driving conviction results
in capital punishment. 
In El Salvador, your first offense is your last -- execution
by firing squad.

After the worldwide strike of the "I LOVE YOU VIRUS," reports are already 
coming in that the virus is mutating into several stages. Within the next 
few hours, expect to see: 

The original "I love you" virus 
The "I like you alot" virus 
The "You're nice, but I just want to be friends" virus 
The "Look, it was just a date...don't get clingy" virus 
The "Okay, I think its best if we don't have anymore contact" virus 
The "It was late, I was drunk, you were easy" virus 
The "Stop calling me, you unfeeling jerk" virus 
The "That's it, I hate you and your stupid dog" virus 

and finally, 

The "You have made an enemy today, prepare to be boarded" virus