Sam told me about the accident he was trying to find out 
about: 
Me:  So I heard about some car accident this morning.
Friend:  Yeah, it was Sam, he got hit by a car on the way to 
school. 
Me:  Oh my God, is he alright?
Friend:  I don't think so, they took him to the hospital.
Me:  ICU?  (intensive care unit)
Friend (quite serious):  I see you too, but this is no time to play 
peekaboo.

Bachelor Blake had a telephone problem last summer. Some dude who
works a night shift apparently has a phone number almost identical to
Blake's.
Starting around midnight, he'd phone every hour and say, "Hey,
what're you doing there, Mister? Where's my wife?"
Blake'd reply, "You have the wrong number."
The man would snarl suspiciously, "Yeah, I'll bet!" cuss a short streak,
and hang up.
Blake put up with this abuse for exactly three nights. On the fourth
night, when the called and asked, "Hey, what're you doing...," Blake 
interrupted in a frantic screech, "For Pete's sake, call the cops! My wife 
followed me here, she's chasing your wife with an axe, and she's gonna... 
HONEY, DON'T...ARGGGGH!"
The man hollered, "What happened? What? Are you there? Hold on, I'll send 
the police!" The phone clicked, the dial tone came on, and Blake hasn't 
been bothered by night calls since.

A business man called and had a question about the 
documents he needed in order to fly to China. After a lengthy 
discussion about passports, I reminded him he needed a visa. 
"Oh, no, I don't. I've been to China many times and never had to 
have one of those." I double checked, and sure enough, his 
stay required a visa. When I told him this he said, "Look, I've 
been to China 4 times and everytime they have accepted my 
American Express."