Eat one live toad the first thing in the morning and nothing
worse will happen to you the rest of the day. 

It takes a big man to cry, but it takes an even
bigger man to laugh at that man. 

     - Jack Handey, Saturday Night Live 

"I think if we all acted the way we really felt, four out of eight people 
at a dinner table would be sitting there sobbing." 

-- Jim Carrey on the human condition in the London Observer.

"I've found crashing jets into skyscrapers is a good
way to catch supervillains. But since this is real
life and not a comic book, maybe it's not such a hot
idea after all." 

     - David James 

It's a good thing we have gravity, or else when birds died they'd just stay
right up there.  Hunters would be all confused.