A tidy young lady of Streator 
               Dearly loved to nibble a peter. 
                    She always would say, 
                    "I prefer it this way. 
               I think it is very much neater." 

There was a young fellow named Hyde
               Who took a girl out for a ride. 
                    He mucked up her fuck-hole 
                    And fucked up her muck-hole, 
               And charged her two dollars beside. 

A king sadly said to his queen, 
            "In parts you have grown far from lean." 
                "I don't give a damn, 
                You've always liked ham," 
            She replied, and he gasped, "How obscene!" 

               There was a young fellow named Chivy 
               Who, whenever he went to the privy, 
                    First solaced his mind, 
                    And then wiped his behind 
               With some well-chosen pages of Livy 

A pathetic old maid of Bordeaux
Fell in love with a dashing young beau.
To entice his regard
She would squat in his yard
And appealingly piss in the snow.