Tombstone Epitaph

More fun with names with Owen Moore in Battersea, London, England:
Gone away
Owin' more
Than he could pay.

Here was a young man of Cape Horn, 
                                        Who wished he had never been born. 
                                                      And he wouldn't have been, 
                                                      If his father had seen 
                                        That the end of the rubber was torn. 
                                                                                                                                      

If you're speaking of actions immoral 
               Then how about giving the laurel 
                    To doughty Queen Esther, 
                    No three men could best her--- 
               One fore, one aft, and one oral. 

Here was a young man of Cape Horn, 
                                        Who wished he had never been born. 
                                                      And he wouldn't have been, 
                                                      If his father had seen 
                                        That the end of the rubber was torn. 
                                                                                                                                      

There once was a baker of Nottingham,
Who in making eclairs would put snot in 'em.
When he ran out of snot,
He would, like as not,
Take his pecker and jack off a shot in 'em.