A Chinese chef named Chang 
               Made dishes of unusual tang. 
                    He stirred his wok 
                    With the head of his cock 
               'Til oyster sauce poured from his wang. 

There was a young man of Madras 
            Who was having a boy in the grass. 
                Then a cobra-capello 
                Said, "Hello, young fellow!" 
            And bit a piece out of his ass. 

There was a young fellow named Malcolm 
            Who dusted his ass-hole with talcum. 
                He'd always use it 
                Everytime that he shit, 
            And found the sensation quite welcome. 

A fellow who slept with a whore, 
                                        Used a safe, but his pecker got sore. 
                                                      Said he with chagrin, 
                                                      "Selling these is a sin," 
                                        Said the druggist, "Caveat emptor". 

A company of Grenadier Guards 
               While traversing the park, formed in squads, 
                    Saw two naked statues 
                    At three-quarter pratt views, 
               Which perceptibly stiffened their rods.