There once was old Chinese drunk,
Who set sail away on his junk,
While dreaming of Venus,
He played with his penis,
Till he floated away in the spunk. 

Ladies and gentlemen hoes and tramps

crosseyed buzzards and bowlegged ants

admission is free so pay at the door

pull up a chair and set on the floor

one night mid day two boys went to play

back to back brother to brother they

both drew a sword and shot each other

one deaf police officer who heard the noise

came and killed the two dead boys

if you dont believe this lie is true

just ask the blind man he saw it too.

sent by billbob

There was a young man from Lyme
Who couldn't get limericks to sound right.
When asked why not
It was said that he thought
They were overly long and far to complex, possibly even dull. 

There was a young lady from china,
who had an enourmous vagina.
and when she was dead
they painted it red
and used it for docking a liner.

A nymphomaniacal nurse 
            With a curse that was worse than perverse 
                Stuck a rotary drill 
                Up her twat, for a thrill--- 
            And they carted her off in a hearse.