There once was a man from Sutter,
Who used to jerk off in the gutter,
Till the tropical sun,
Played hell on his gun,
And turned all his cream into butter.

There was a young lady named Rackstraw,
Titillated herself with a hack-saw.
As a result of this action
She no longer has traction,
And a penis feels just like a jackstraw.

George Michael re-releases

Careless Wrister

And I'm never going to wank again,
Guilty nobs have have got no rythm
Though its easy to pretend
I'm standing on a stool.

Should have known better than to wank in bogs,
Stood in shit and covered in jism,
So I'm never gonna wank again,
The way I wanked with you oo ooh.

Bog Tropicana

Let me take you to a place,
Where gays will come upon your face,
If you want them to,
And if you stand upon a bag,

They'll do things that will make you gag,
As you sit upon the loo,
Bog Tropicana sex is free,
Bums and gism, there's enough for everyone,

And if you like cock just like me,
You can meet them, they all want you!
nice....

Young Bums (Go for it!)

Hey Sucker!
(Who the hell's been up your flue?)
Hey Fucker!
(Where's the nearest public loo?)

Well I hadn't seen your arse around town, a while
So I greeted you, with a knowing smile
When I saw that chap upon your lap
I knew he'd taken your length, bent over the taps

I said: "Big boy, what's with the frown!"
I said: "Big boy, you better take my cum down."
And in return, I gladly heard you say,
"Fuck me George, I wanna play."

Young Bums
Having some fun,
Crazy Bikers take 'em on the run
Wise Bi's realize, when they see my jiz dripping down your thighs

Whip me, sting me like a bee
No tears, just cheers, and beastiality
One Two, on your cock I wanna chew,
Death by masturbation!

Hey Sucker!

.....and so on, and so on....

There was a young lady of Joppa
            Who came a society cropper. 
                She went to Ostend 
                With a gentlemen friend--- 
            The rest of the story's improper. 

Ultimate Haiku



                                           The only problem
                                   with Haiku is that you just
                                        get started and then

                                                - Author unknown