A young girl who was no good at tennis
But at swimming was really a menace
Took pains to explain,
"It depends how to train;
I was a streetwalker in Venice."

                    There was a young lad from Nahant
                            
                    Who was made like the Sensitive Plant.
                            When asked, "Do you fuck?"
                            He replied, "No such luck.
                            
                    I would if I could but I can't."
                            

   You're lucky
   You had your chance
   I tried to fart,
   And shit my pants!


  

                    A horny old broad from Point Breeze
                            
                    Once said to her lover, "Oh please!
                            You'd enhance my bliss
                            If you'd play more with this
                            
                    And pay less attention to these."
                            

A newlywed couple from Goshen 
               Spent their honeymoon sailing the ocean. 
                    In twenty-eight days 
                    They got laid eighty ways--- 
               Imagine such fucking devotion.